In 1976 I was 22 years old when I experienced my first infant loss. October 10 of that year I gave birth to a full term baby girl, my first born daughter, Lisa. Instead having the normal 4 chambered heart, Lisa was born with a 2 chambered heart. I was told at the time, that people can live with a heart like this but Lisa also had a hole in her heart. This I was told is normal as it usually closes up on its own sometime after a baby is born. Lisa’s neonatal heart surgeon tried to repair her heart and she did well for a bit, later required another heart surgery. Sometime after the 2nd heart surgery, Lisa’s heart began to fail and at 9 weeks, she died in my arms, never having left the hospital. Over the next couple years I experienced further loss as I lived through two miscarriages, losing them in their first trimester.
Although I was saddened with the loss of the two miscarried babies, it was the loss of Lisa I continued to feel the most, and I had no support from family or friends. I did not have a good relationship with my own mother and friends did not know how to talk to me about the loss of my baby. Because of the deep depression I suffered, a psychotherapist placed me on lithium. I was depressed and angry at God for taking my baby. For years, I would hear or see something that would trigger my loss of Lisa and tears would flow. Over the years my grief was numbed but never gone.
In 2008, while living in Nevada, I attended a workshop held by medical intuitive Carol Ritberger. I asked her about Lisa as I was still trying to understand why my baby died. Carol said to me in the most loving way, “you know she is with you, don’t you”? My eyes filled with tears and I responded that I did not know this. I was 54 at the time and 2 years into my spiritual awakening.
As I continued along my spiritual journey, 2 books crossed my path - James Van Praagh’s book entitled Growing up in Heaven: The Eternal Connection Between Parent and Child and Angel Babies: Messages from Miscarried and Other Lost Babies authored by Patricia Seaver McGivern. Both of these books provided a bit of understanding for me about my losses and loss in general.
In the Spring of 2012 because my physical body was a total mess, I was lead on a natural healing path that included working with a chiropractor specializing in women’s health; at the same time, energy medicine crossed my path. Physically I had to radically change what was causing my body to be such a wreck, while I supported my body with supplements and diet change. I also became certified first in the Emotion Code and then pursued Body Code certification.
As I continued along my healing and spiritual paths I began reading books about the afterlife, and found the spiritual realm to be fascinating and not scary. I began to recognize signs that Lisa was showing me to let me know she was around me. In November of 2014, I learned that I have the gift of mediumship which thrilled me in that perhaps I could get messages from Lisa. In the spring of 2015, I connected with psychic medium Amanda Linette Meder for mediumship coaching.
On 11 September 2015, Amanda did a reading for me and connected to Lisa and the two miscarried babies who I learned were little boys. Someone on FaceBook asked me if I’d named the two little boys and I replied that I had not. I did feel that one of the boy’s name was Christopher Michael. When I asked the other little boy what his name was, I learned his name is Luke. My journey continues as I hone my gift of multidimensional channeling so that I can begin my sacred mission to help other mothers who have also experienced infant loss, along with the added blessing that all three of my babies are assisting me from the spiritual realm.