I only remember crying deeply a couple times during my life. I grieved very deeply after losing my first born daughter Lisa, and I also remember gut wrenching crying when my cat Talon was run over and killed. Not that I did not grieve other losses such as when I experienced 2 miscarriages and many other animal losses, but I never allowed myself to completely grieve the loss. When my ex-husband committed suicide, I did not fully grieve his loss, nor was I there emotionally to help my daughter Nichole, grieve the loss of her father. We just sucked it up and went on with life.
As we continue our spiritual growth, we are given the opportunity to heal another layer, but this takes courage. I had the AHA moment while cleaning one of the sheep sheds the other day, and it seems like I get a lot of these while I’m cleaning up “shit”, LOL!! No wonder, as a new layer of healing had come to the surface, and I was able to recognize it. What I learned is that during my growing years, my brother and I were not allowed to show our emotions. When enduring severe corporal punishment we were also not allowed to cry, or we’d get some more and were told, “I’ll give you something to cry about”. My brother and I handled this differently........for me I buried my emotions and tears deep, deep within me. Disconnecting from my emotions and body. This is where the anger keeps coming from!! And then I would get frustrated at myself for getting angry, yet it was the anger wanting to be released.
So when we experience loss through infant loss, miscarriage, a beloved pet, friend or family member, we may be experiencing emotions from a much deeper level as well. It’s important to process our current loss, and then in time look within to see if a deeper healing is bubbling up within us.
During our time of healing, it’s essential to be gentle with ourself, but hey what does that mean? A couple of years ago I could not have answered this question because I was so disconnected from my emotions and body. We each process grief differently but what has worked for me is to sometimes “throw the book at it”. I was not only aching in my heart, but my physical body was wracked with pain, showing up as tightness in the my neck and shoulders even to the point of experiencing muscle spasm. However, employing multiple essential oils, flower essences such as Bleeding Heart, massage therapy, chiropractics, acupuncture and Epsom salt baths, these can all help move the energies out of our bodies. Talking to like-minded friends or others who have experienced the same type of loss may be helpful as well. Writing about our grief expressing our emotions, perhaps a letter or a poem to the beloved whom we’ve lost. You may want to get a stuffed toy that feels comforting to cuddle with. What works for someone else may not work for you, but with sharing our feelings others may provide a different insight.
I am grateful for the gifts received during what seemed like a month of endless loss and the gift of being able to recognize that a deeper layer had come up for healing and having the courage to not push it back down. When we have weathered the storm and healed our emotions, then peace will reside within our heart.
Perhaps you’d like to share how you process loss.